Back up, baby back up. Did you forget everything? Back up, baby back up. Did you you forget everything? Back up, baby back, please back up, oh back up. Back up, baby back up. Cause it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong. It rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone.

My life is a big giant problem…made up of a million little problems. Jacob doesn’t understand why I don’t want to be in a relationship with him. Calvin won’t talk to me. I miss Rusty. I miss Kathleen. I want to cry. I hate my job….every oppurtunity that I have to have any kind of fun in this small sorry town is ruined by my dumb fucking job. I’m going to chicago tomorrow. I was excited to get out of this god for saken town…but now I don’t even want to go because its ruining everything. I should totally just be single for a long time… love sucks…reelationships suck…. pets…cats..dogs..that’s all you need in life. Maybe a good friend or two.. I don’t even know if I have that.

I hate my family. Everything is so fucked up. My mother is either screaming or crying. My dad is either absent or screaming. My brother is either getting into trouble or being an asshole. My parents focus literally every single ounce of energy they have on my brother… it’s like I don’t even exist… hey over here your daughter who gets awesome grades at a great school who is puking her guts out everyday and in and out of depression…you’re all too busy with the fuck up to even notice anything wrong with me. I hate everyone. I can’t stand being in my house. LITERALLY I can’t stand it. I want to cry. I’m the good fucking child..never do anything wrong…kept a job for four years…go to college w. A scholarship and get good grades…never gotten in annnny kind of trouble…and I’m pretty much disreagrded…”there’s nothing wrong with you” as my mother would say. Fuck everyone.